Stop right now. What is going well around you? What, on examination, is bringing you joy in this moment? What has the potential to be igniting your passion and boosting your well-being?
No doubt you know about the benefits of a gratitude practice–the research-based approach for fostering positivity and well-being by reflecting regularly on what you appreciate. But what about when we lose those sources of contentment?
We’ve all had those days when nothing seemed to go right. We’re late to a meeting, technology fails, coffee spills. With each frustrating turn we contrast the present against a perfect past or fantastic future to reinforce our displeasure. And spend our energy wishing for different outcomes.
When those brighter moments arrive, we may notice them. We may even celebrate them. But do we recognize that what makes them better is the less desirable state that preceded them?
It’s easy to appreciate obvious assets. Think: water, a crisp apple, sleep, love, companionship, recognition. (If you don’t regularly give mindful attention to such pleasures, consider doing so. It can change your life.)
It can be downright difficult, though, to appreciate things that are immediately ungratifying at best. Think: thirst, a cold french fry, insomnia, hate, loneliness, criticism. But doing so is key for boosting your well-being. Not only can undesired experiences lower our baseline for what feels positive, being without keeps us from getting complacent with the desirable things we have. “Taking a break from things we enjoy can,” says well-being psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, “renew our capacity to appreciate them”.
Consider summer in the Northeast. As the September sun sets earlier and the temperatures cool, lovers of summer lament the arrival of fall. Yet, without three cooler seasons, summer would become regular, everyday weather. Limitless and routine. So, really, isn’t it seasonal diversity that make summer so delightful?
Of course weather is one of those things we don’t control (and in New York State at least, it’s pretty much impossible to get complacent with sunshine.) So, consider your favorite professional activity. Innovating? Presenting? Team building? Mentoring? I bet you don’t do it everyday. If you did, it probably wouldn’t remain your favorite.
So instead of wishing for more time with the experiences we enjoy, take a different approach toward boosting your well-being. Embrace the scarcity of those objects of affection–relish the sunny moments when you have them and appreciate the cloudy times that help make them special.
